The Original Script Was Angry

Hello!

Enjoy the video and transcript below about the original script drafts for my film Moustache Man. A film based on my experience of being a carer featuring Mark Gatiss (Sherlock, Doctor Who, Bookish) and Josie Lawrence (Whose Line is it Anyway).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNiGepsZlpM

The original script was angry — just furious. I wasn’t furious at the person I was looking after; it was more about the situhttp://enough.Atation I’d found myself in. I think I’d become a carer at 23, and at the point I’d written this (Moustache Man), I was maybe 26 or 27.

What you find when you’re a carer is that you kind of stay still. You become a very good carer, but the life you wanted to lead moves on without you. Your friends move on without you. Your family moves on without you. And, you know, that’s not the person you’re looking after’s fault. It’s not your fault. It’s just the way the world works. And especially as I wanted to be an actor — and I was doing all right at that point — I was watching my career dip. And it did dip. It dipped massively. There had been quite a lot of momentum coming into my twenties, and it wasn’t just becoming a carer (which made my career dip); it was also the lawsuit I had to be involved in after working in League for eight months on a TV show. Then having to turn down castings… your agent sees that, as, well, maybe you’re not dedicated enough. At that point, I hadn’t really told anyone what was going on in my home life. My agent just saw it as, “Maybe he’s not as committed as he used to be.” And I was quite bruised and battered from the whole Liege situation.

So you find yourself in a bit of a conundrum, because you can’t just stop being a carer. The person needs you. And I would never, ever, ever have abandoned him. I think I’d rather see my career burn in the depths of heaven than abandon him at that point. But you do hold on to a bit of a grudge, I suppose — not toward him, but toward the situation.

I’d written this script based on being a carer, but it was just angry. I was so angry at the world. I was furious because of how unkind it had all been. And I’m not a religious person, so I didn’t really have anyone else to blame. So I put it all in a script, and it wasn’t a pleasant read. It probably would have made a great play, but it was ultimately a very angry read.

Over the course of maybe 6 months to a year, I kept it on the back burner — just thinking about it while trying to make Two Housemates as lovely as it possibly could be. Then around 2018 or 2019, I thought, “Let’s revisit this now that I’m in a better frame of mind.” The person I was looking after was doing much better, which was wonderful, and I’m incredibly proud of who he’s become.

So I thought, let’s have a look at it. And again, I found it aggressive — aggressive is a great word — about the situation I’d been in. I thought, “This isn’t a good read, but there are certain parts that are really interesting.”

The first part I found interesting was the Groundhog Day aspect — the feeling of, “Okay, I’ve got to make sure the day is the same every day, because otherwise something unexpected might happen.” It would create a sense of emergency because the routine had been disrupted. I found that really interesting.

At that point, I was speaking to Mark (Gatiss) more and more, and I spoke to him about the concept. He thought it was a really good idea to make a story out of it. Also, there were some really lovely beats in it — why not make it a little more charming and interesting?

I remember having a conversation with a friend who said, “I wouldn’t think anything was going on at home. I would’ve thought everything was great by the way you behave outside.” And I thought, that’s really interesting. I could essentially make two separate short films and combine them — the inside life and the outside life. The inside life would remain natural, not aggressive, but sad. I had to take the anger out. The outside world would be charming and fun, with more interesting colouring, and the rhythm of the language would be more charming and rhythmic — especially Mark’s character. That felt really important.

The next few drafts became about making it more watchable, more likeable — making the character more likeable, which creates a sense of, “Oh no, I don’t want anything bad to happen to this person.” That’s where the drafts started to change. It became less about “look how awful his life is” and more mixed — melancholy, sad at the end, but human.

It became a really interesting experience to write about my own life, but also to edit it so it became more palatable for an audience. Instead of “this is the rage I’m feeling,” it became “these are the many ways I’m feeling about this situation, and I hope you can connect with it.”

If you’ve got any questions, leave them in the comments — I’d love to do another video on this, or on character and script development, especially with the added pressure of writing about your own or someone else’s life.